Bagging the remains

February 4, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Miscellaneous 

I walk in my neighbourhood. It’s a pleasant and healthy pastime except for the stress caused by irresponsible dog-owners. They go to the trouble of bagging their pooch’s poop but throw the plastic-entombed crap alongside the trails. Why? Why not just leave it? At least it would decompose. So this bad verse is for you, bad dog-walkers.

A PRAYER FOR BAD DOG-OWNERS

The day you hear the final bell,

I pray you won’t wake up in hell,

As a yappy Pekinese,

plagued by starving fleas,

A pink bow adorning your crest,

and wearing a very prissy vest.

But with legs and pillows to hump,

you’re not unhappy with the dump.

Until one day on a grass strip you crap,

unleashed and free in a devilish trap.

Between a freeway and a forest where prowl,

red-eyed coyotes. Stomachs a-growl.

Later, when Satan bags your undead remains,

knotted in white plastic with crimson stains,

Pray he doesn’t toss it in a tree,

where you’ll dangle for eternity.

Amen.

With apologies to law-abiding dog owners and real poets.